This morning, I woke up, made a cup of coffee, and then spent more time heating it back up in the microwave than I did drinking it, because I kept forgetting about it. I tried to sit quietly with the Lord, but after 5 minutes, I found myself scrolling through Instagram trying to push the day’s very long to-do list out of my mind. 

This is the reality of what most of my mornings look like. Mundane. Ordinary. A battle to spend time with Jesus. And then moving on into life just like the day before. 

I’m trying to get better about sharing my daily life and my everyday walk with the Lord. Because that is in fact the reason I created this blog: to share the “art of living courageously”—everyday. I often don’t write because I let myself believe I have nothing courageous to share. Because let’s be honest, what was courageous about my morning? 

It was much easier to write when I was walking through hard trials. The last few years were an emotional rollercoaster for me. In those days, I desperately needed Jesus to intervene, carry me through, and I had no other choice but to cling to him. Therefore, words were easier because I was learning to brave each day, as each day brought a new wave of hard. 

Now, after He’s graciously carried me through and brought me to the Promised Land, I’m comfortable, safe, and yes, of course, thankful. But somehow, I feel restless. The stability is good, but for some reason, it’s no longer satisfying. I’m waiting and ready for what’s next—a new journey.

Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you feel this way now. You’re tired of going on throughout your day, wondering “is this it?” And you start to feel shame for not being more grateful towards the Lord. OR maybe you think I’m completely crazy because you’re still battling a whole lot of hard days. Either way, what’s beautiful and important to understand about both places, within the boring days or the hard days, we desperately need Jesus in both. 

The terrifying difference in the ordinary safe moments, it’s incredibly easy to forget our need.

You’ve probably heard this saying, “It’s through trials that we learn the most.” This is often true because, in those moments, we don’t have much of a choice but to learn. It quickly exposes our fear and shame and hurt and most importantly, our deep need.

In Luke 7, we see this so beautifully displayed. A woman that’s lived a hard life and in dire need of Jesus. She’s so desperate, she falls at Jesus’ feet and cleans His feet with her tears and her most valuable perfume she’s worked her whole life for. Her need is felt deeply. All of her—fear, shame, hurt, need—is visible to everyone around because the trials have brought it to the surface and exposed it. And how did they react? 

A lot like our world does today. A lot like I do. We’ve decided it’s bad to be needy. So we continuously fight to be “ok.” To be safe. To be content. To be independent. To ask God to get us to the Promised Land so we can take care of the rest.

In that same story, there’s a man named Simon. A man that lives just like that. And a man I relate too closely with. He lives an ordinary life. He seems content and good. He even hangs out with Jesus. (that has to count for something!! I hang out with Jesus… well before I start scrolling through Instagram…) But what Jesus tries to expose in this man’s story is—he’s just as needy as the woman. But he’s too blind to see it.

The woman was just as much of a sinner and in need as Simon. Just as I am a sinner and in need as much I was in my hard days. The difference: Simon is missing out on God’s extraordinary grace.

And I am limiting myself from God’s extraordinary grace. I have allowed myself to believe that I don’t need Jesus in a time of ordinary. But…

“Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…” Romans 5:20

I really do believe that we actually have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves in the seasons of ordinary than in our trials. But it takes more courage. Because in those moments, it’s our choice to expose our need. We have to be willing to dig deep into our souls and go looking for it. And we might expose something we don’t like—our sin and weaknesses—and then we will have to choose if we want to keep going deeper and allow God's grace to pour in OR cover it back up, keep heating up our coffees, and knocking out the to-do lists. 

So, if you’re feeling at all like me, sick of the ordinary days that seem to pass by, feeling distant from God, and ready for “what's next,” I want to challenge you to honestly ask yourself—”do I need Jesus?” And if the answer is no, then it might be time to courageously step deeper into your ordinary, choose to expose your heart, and allow God to reveal your need.

Your “what's next” might not be another outward adventure that you’re looking for, but rather an inward journey to discover more of yourself at the feet of Jesus. And I truly believe that you’ll experience God’s extraordinary grace and your days will no longer be ordinary, but truly beautiful and meaningful.